I’ve been hearing about this Gooey Looie’s place for years. Apparently it is THE place to get ginormous hoagies in South Philly. Even my lazy, carless neighbor walks the 11 blocks to get his fix because they are just that good. Unfortunately, my plans to get their hoagies have been foiled more than once, my favorite involving a hopeful take out order in which I called ahead.

“I’d like to place an order for pick up,” I asked, sweetly.

“We’re out of rolls.” Click.

Finally, during my summer vacation, my husband and I both had a random Friday off and after a long morning with no breakfast, we thought we’d reward ourselves with some Gooey Looie’s. I knew I wanted a cheesesteak and figured we could try a hoagie as well. My first mistake was ordering the cheesesteak with whiz.

“No whiz,” he explained.

Not to be deterred, I put in my order–no frills. They don’t have fries or any other sort of side items so don’t bother asking.

The address is listed as 231 McClellan (between Mifflin and Moore,) but I had trouble picturing it. Luckily, a little digging on the internet told me that it was actually in Pennsport Mall. I pulled into the parking lot and headed down towards this unassuming walkway.

From the outside, Gooey Looie’s looks like your typical South Philly convenience store.

Sports signs, check. Empty bread boxes, check. Signs from at least 20 years ago, check. When you walk in, there is a lottery ticket kiosk, a cooler and a large selection of chips, snacks and other convenience store items.

I walked to the register and told them I had a pick up for Zoe. Despite the fact that the register was about 2 steps from the deli counter, he told me I had to tell them at the deli counter. When I rotated 90 degrees and told them my name, once again, they got very excited.

“Zoe’s here! Zoe’s in the house! Hey, Zoe!!!” Again, typical South Philly. I grabbed my (extraordinarily heavy) sandwiches, had some small talk with the register guy (while paying under $20 for these gigantic sandwiches) and headed out the door.

I got home and plopped my sandwiches on the counter. These were some big boys.

We ate the cheesesteak hoagie first.

Extra points for thinly shredded lettuce. There’s something about shredded lettuce that just completes a hoagie for me and it’s harder and harder to find a place that does that any more. Now, this picture doesn’t do it justice but there must have been at least pound of meat on that thing. Hearty, hot and chock full of meat–this is something I could get used to.

Later in the day, we took a go at the corned beef special hoagie.

This is one of those two-fisted hoagies. One hand will certainly not suffice when picking up this monster. While I loved all of the toppings (hello, more shredded lettuce!), the lunch meat, itself, fell flat. I liked the concept of the corned beef special hoagie with Russian dressing and the works, but I would probably try it with turkey lunchmeat in the future. Which is unfortunate because I had a little meat left over.

That’s only from one HALF of the hoagie! As I later learned, pros get their hoagies with a couple extra rolls. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.

Gooey Looie’s is a zero-pretention type of place that picks one thing and does it right. Are the hoagies the OMG ABSOLUTELY BEST in the whole wide world? Not necessarily. But they’re damn good, especially the cheesesteak hoagie. And when you’re looking for a big meal with lots of South Philly attitude (for better or worse,) Gooey Looie’s is the place to go.

Just don’t forget the extra rolls.